Monday, December 15, 2014

Giftsplosion 2014: The Percy Jackson of Christmas Events

Giftsplosion: the Timely Woe of Outdated, Useless Gifts

Hello readers, RayMan36 here with what we've all been waiting for: disappointment. Yes, I'm here to talk about the overly-impossible gift hunt, and maybe what would come out of these presents from the depths unknown, which all of you certainly bought.

DISCLAIMER: You have been juggling a broken teacup with a milkshake straw in your sock while dancing to the Canadian national anthem, all with your iron man costume in your baby pool on your 8th birthday party only if it was July 20th and it was a full moon. Otherwise, just pay me $40,000.
I. Brief Overview
This is satire. I'm making a lot of fun of these Christmas gifts because most/all are terrible. I'll be reviewing Quality, Obtainable Gifts, Price, and Prizes. Just so you know, I don't really plan on buying any gifts (they're usually not that good of quality, and I spend my money on cthulhu hats), and please don't post leaks in the comments, most people want it to be a surprise. Other than that, let's begin!

II. Quality
I'm not talking about the gift packages, or the prizes here. I'm talking about the thoughtfulness of the challenges. Like over two gifts pertaining to playing games, not earning badges, just playing, for a long time beforehand knowing the requirements. So, take a look at this gift, a badge gift. it's not unlike this badge gift. It's gift for running ads. Usually Christmas gifts are about new features ROBLOX has come up with in the year. But in this case, it's a copy of the older version. Sure, badge gifts are pretty popular, but take a look at the two images I have at the beginning of this post. They're two gifts for having popular ads. One, of course, would have cost 40,000 robux (and is on sale for R$500), and the other didn't take a whole lot of work. But we'll cover this in the next category.

III. Obtainability
Here's the kicker. Most of these gifts are impossible to get. Let's see- playing games 20 of 30 past daysplaying 30 of top 50 gamesspending close to R$40,000 on adsa gift awarded to only 2,000 people with some stupid requirementor being a delevoper worth about $13. These, as you see, are all but 4 gifts. And just about all required you to do something way before you knew the requirement. Or how only a small amount of people get the gift, and you can do nothing about it. Gifts are supposed to be something you work for, not something you just recieve because you happen to have a generally poor taste in games, or because you are unhappily rich, as stated in the next section...

IV. Prices
Yes, just about every single gift has a flaw. Take, for example, the Gift of the Maker. Going to a roblox event would probably make you a small minority in the roblox world. You could have either actually gone, bought an area top hat, or redeem gift cards during virtual bloxcon. But of course, where probably less than 5000 people have a maker faire top hat (I think the roblox events were very poorly set up this year, but that has nothing to do with this), it's a gift for 100 robux. Or the gift for becoming a delevoper at R$1250, making a developer worth about $13. That's the low end- but what about the high? Maybe a gift, which for some reason is impossible and 5,000 robux. And the prices are only doubling. But where do we go from here? What will come out of these gifts? Next section...

V. Prizes
Only some of these gifts have opened up. But it's really all the material I need. Let take a look at this R$50 gift, which opened up to a pretty good hat/scarf/snow goggles combination. This prize was pretty good, now let's compare it with the maker faire gift, and its prize. It doesn't look as good, despite being double the other gift. Most of these prizes will be bad. I'll make some guesses (without the help of LeakBlox) here:

Probably like Brinsop of the Black Heart- probably a good item.

Hard to say. Probably a copy of the epic face.
Mad Murderer Knife. No, I'm serious.

Another Swordpack. "Sharp" Gift of...

Maybe a christmas related item. Pretty good

With all of these, they're probably the same items but with boring hue changes. Buy your favorite color.

What are you guesses? Comment or tweet me @Rayman36_RBLX !