Saturday, July 4, 2015

Too Many Visits: Canoe Without a Paddle!


    Hello my fellow readers, in this segment called "Too Many Visits" we will look at games that simply don't deserve the fame it got. Canoe Without a Paddle! by smokenchicken is a good example of this. Over its 6 long years of activity the game has raked up over 6 million visits. Before you all start shouting at me "Rudolph! This game is 6 years old! Give it a rest!", the game was updated in May so that's no excuse. Anyway let's begin our in depth look.


    The only bit of the game which looks relatively good is the spawn area. Upon spawning you are surrounded by trees and rocks with a cave behind you because why not? Up until a recent update the cave was empty and pointless, however after the update the cave is no longer empty! It now has a sleeping bag, two lanterns, a knife and a very well made campfire. While the cave certainly looks better now, there is still the minor problem of it being completely pointless. Why is it here? Why is somebody camping in there? Maybe it was put in to keep us guessing about who we are, who we will become and why we are here. Or maybe the creator needed some filler. The majority of the game is a river... Just a river. The water is made up of bricks with stretched decals and the land on the side is populated by trees. The 'Winners' area has had the least amount of effort put into it, it's just a big lake (made up of another stretched water decal) with a few islands in the middle. There's another cave on one of the islands holding some gear. This whole area however looks really really bad.


    I hear thousands of you gasp in surprise. Story? Most of you who've played this game probably were never aware there was actually a reason you were canoeing down without a paddle. Of course there was! Although never discussed in game, the description of the game clearly states "Jump in your Canoe and get down the river! The waters are rising. Escape the river and all Roblox evil minions, and get to safety? Will you survive? Probably! Probably NOT!" If that's not enough story for you then I don't know what is. You are trying to "Escape the river and all Roblox evil minions". It doesn't get better than that guys...


    Gameplay consists of sitting in a canoe to the end. That is it. You do nothing to control the canoe, you just have to watch and hope it doesn't fall off the edge (which it most certainly will) to your slow painful death. The hardest part of this game is actually getting to the canoes in the first place as the game is always packed with people trying to kill you with their gear. That's right, the game allows gear! Because what could possibly go wrong? I died about 10 times before I actually managed to get away in my canoe. Some guy kept trying to throw a grenade into my canoe! This is one of the game's main problems in my opinion, and the creator is very aware of this problem. He's even made a separate version of the game where no fighting gear is allowed but you have to pay 25 robux for it! It's very bad...


In conclusion, the bad building, very poor story and dull (sometimes annoying) gameplay make this game a mess. The game could be so much better, if it fixed the gear and added some interesting building and story and maybe improved the gameplay a bit. Just let us control the canoe at least! But with the game in its current state, it's a mystery how it managed to get 6 million visits.

I hope you enjoyed this article. Please leave a comment giving me feedback on whether you liked it and want to see more, or whether you didn't like it and want to see less. Thank you!